Today’s Singlish story

Note to the Singlish-deficient: Ah Beng is a working-class guy with gelled hair, he’s a smoker, often likes to ride on a fast motorcycle, and aspires to greater heights. Ah Seng is his female counterpart–in this story, he works with her. Found this in and loved it. It’s a version of a joke I heard years ago, but some Singaporean inventiveness made it even funnier.

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning that in future he would get promotion or better job.

During work, Ah Beng liked to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah… I’ve been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh… Good luck ah.

Then Ah Beng started show off…

Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don’t know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la… in 1876, see… if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: …………………… *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng showed off again…

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah… let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He’s the author of “Confessions”, nah nah nah…told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ……………………. *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again…

Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don’t know don’t simply answer la. He’s the author of “The 3 Musketeers”, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ………………….. *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and in turn asked Ah Beng…

Ah Seng: Eh… Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr… No!
Ah Seng: He’s the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: …………………… *fainted*

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