As I have discussed before, one of the things I have undertaken for the Diocese is being a Companion in Mission. That is, as part of a team of five people (4 priests and me) I spend one Sunday a month (and some other time) at a parish in Bermondsey helping them to nurture and grow their parish family. Last week I held the first of three meetings with members of the parish talking about fear. We took as a framework the Serenity Prayer (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change/The courage to change the things I can/and the wisdom to know the difference). There were 15 people there (including me) and we had an interesting discussion, I thought. We ended with pizza and fellowship, and those I spoke with gave me the impression that they enjoyed it.
Well, this evening we Companions had our regular monthly meeting, and it turns out that not everyone enjoyed themselves. One felt that I should not have used so many examples from my life in the US as I spoke, another didn’t understand what I was doing (for various reasons), one said that s/he wouldn’t come to the next one. This was all relayed through the leader of the team.
When I heard that, I was quite depressed. I now feel very upset about the following two meetings that we will be having in October, the service I’m taking on Sunday, and the project in general. I realise you can’t please everyone, but sometimes I feel like I can’t please anyone.
Those of you who are people who pray, could you think of me and the little flock I’m helping in Bermondsey. We both need your prayers.
And if you aren’t people who pray, a kind thought or a comforting word will be helpful right now.
Here. Have a hug.
I’m sorry some Companions didn’t like what you did.
I’m sure you please some folks, and that does have meaning.
Interesting … those who enjoyed it and said so were true. Those who did not enjoy it and did not say so were experiencing fear to some degree. They did not feel they could give you that feedback.
I know that when I am doing secular training, I like to get feedback directly, even ‘constructive’ stuff so that I can do better the next time or repeat the things that went well. It hurts sometimes to get the feedback through another party, well, at least the bad stuff hurts. But take from it what you can use, and discard the rest.
Accept the things you cannot change.
Change the things you can.
Know the difference.
I’m sending prayers to you, the Companions, Bermondsey, and God. Go!
Sorry, I wasn’t perfectly clear. Some of the folks from the parish who were in the nurture group weren’t happy with the program. The Companions were happy and thought that what I was doing was fine.
I, like you, tend to focus on the negative feedback, but from what you’ve said, it sounds like that was the minority. As you’ve stated – you can’t please everyone. Take a page from your spiritual guide. After all, HE certainly didn’t please everyone in HIS day. The crucified HIM.
The Serenity Prayer is a daily mantra of mine. It’s gotten me through so much and allowed me to enjoy life so much more.
Good Luck and my prayers are with you.