As regular readers of this blog will know, I am constantly in despair over the Rector of St. Matthew’s. He is a lazy loafer, not bothering to have any weekday services at all; he fancies himself a liturgist but, not consulting any of the laity in the parish, he just copies things he fancies out of books rather than bothering to get anyone’s opinions or use any of the talent we have in the parish. He knows what I think of him but has decided not to bother to speak to me unless he has to (which is fine; I probably would hesitate even to piss on him were he to be in flames, which he almost was this morning–but I digress). He is a bully, and, I believe, not a good administrator and certainly not a good leader.
Instead of having a dedicated Eucharist on All Souls Day, November 2, in which we pray for all the dear departed relatives and friends we have lost, he conflates it with All Saints Sunday, so that he doesn’t have to haul himself over to the church on November 2 and actually do some work during the week. One of the things he does is have members of the congregation light votive candles at the altar to represent prayers for their own departed loved ones. We have a large terra cotta dish in which I place the votive lights. I expected that he would light one in the dish and leave it there.
Instead, he lit one and then put it on the altar cloth! That is the altar cloth from which I have to spend hours removing wax stains just from the two candles placed on the altar at Mass–I have to rush to blow the candles out after Mass because if the kids get to them first, they do not shield the candle flame while blowing it out and blow the wax all over the altar cloth.
I was livid! He is thoughtless, stupid, and careless. If he had to remove the wax from the altar cloth, he might think twice about putting a votive candle on it that is almost bound to sputter and throw wax all over the cloth. I had to watch helplessly as 20 people put votive lights on the altar, just as he had done.
Two parishioners helped by putting all the candles back in the terra cotta dish during the Peace, and I’m grateful for that, but I’m still very annoyed. How could someone with any sense do something like that?
Later on, while administering Communion, we had to put the whole terra cotta dish on the altar to save the Rector from catching on fire as he passed the table it normally lays on.
Jesus wept.
Later on, while administering Communion, we had to put the whole terra cotta dish on the altar to save the Rector from catching on fire as he passed the table it normally lays on.
now WHY did you do that?
seems to me that had he done so, and everyone sits back agog at this demonstration of pentecostal zeal, or possibly a re-enactment of the vision of Isaiah, to the point that the fire brigade was called rather late, it would have solved your problem, at the relatively minor cost of a chasuble and possibly the altar hangings.
and you’d have a new parish priest by the time you get the soot marks off the ceiling.
There’s a dying guy at Carnegie Mellon who Oprah likes, who says if you wait long enough, everyone has a good side. Me, patience is not my strong suit.
It’s quite likely that some busybody in the congregation would have put out the conflagration.
It reminds me of a dear departed friend who had heart disease and always used to worry that she would have a heart attack in the street and some busybody would do CPR on her and resuscitate her.
I’ve known this modern-day Rector of Stiffkey for more than 12 years now. Unlike a fine port, he does not improve with age. He turned 61 at the end of June, and that means that we have 8 years and 8 months left before he must retire. Not that I’m counting or anything.
In this regard I often recall the wise words of the Rt. Rev’d Mervyn Stockwood, the late, gay, Bishop of Southwark, who said in regard to elderly incumbents who did not retire (in those days priests could not be forced to retire) “Where there’s death, there’s hope.”
It’s quite likely that some busybody in the congregation would have put out the conflagration.
well THAT’s unfortunate. Couldn’t you have had a Pentecostal moment, and raised your hands heavenward and squealed HALLELUJAH!! He’s bein’ called home to Jeeezuz! Back away from him now, let the LORD claim one of his own! Kneel down and praise the Lord as he comes in a blaaaaze o’glory! ?
all water under the bridge now, of course, but maybe you should plan for the next opportunity to -er- speed up his Promotion to Glory (as the Salvation Army phrases it).
in a more realistic hope than my pyrotechnic one expressed above, if he really is as lazy as you say (and I have every reason to trust your witness), he’ll probably want to retire as soon as he can.
Unfortunately, he still has a juvenile son in secondary school and another one in university. He is up to his eyeballs in credit card debt (according to what he has told other people in the parish–which is pretty indiscreet for a clergyperson, I think). He is lazy, but he cannot afford to retire now, as he will get a very small pension indeed. If he toughs it out until age 70, he will get most of a full pension.
I have explored with the Archdeacon getting him to retire on grounds of ill health (he has a serious heart condition, is about twice my size, has a foot/leg infection that is resisting treatment, and so on and so forth). Unfortunately, those grandees of the Church Commissioners, who pay clergy ill-health retirement pensions, have cracked down on dioceses who used ill health as a pretext for getting rid of unsuitable clergy. Curses! Foiled again!
There would have been scorch marks on the carpet, which just WOULD NOT DO!
Piffle. You’re telling me you wouldn’t be glad, for the price of a new carpet, to have a new rector?
(or at the very least, to be rid of the current one)
where ARE your priorities, lambkins?
Ezekiel’s firey chariot sounds like just the ticket!
We’re such a poor parish that we couldn’t afford it. The deductible for the insurance would kill us. I just ordered
Poison. Oops, did I write that?
It may well be that he is struck down with his health probs in any case.
From youir keyboard to God’s ears!
🙂