Today’s Humour Spot

You may all thank MadPriest for this one.

Or not, as the case may be.

A 65 year old woman tried a new fertility treatment and gave birth. When she was discharged from hospital and went home, her friend called round to visit.

“May I see the new baby?” the friend asked her.

“Not yet,” said the other. “I’ll make coffee and we’ll chat for a while first.”

Thirty minutes passed and the friend asked, May I see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Another half an hour went by and the friend, once again, asked, “May I see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” was, once more, the reply.

Growing very impatient the friend asked, “Well, when can I see the baby?”

“When he cries,” replied the new mother.

“When he cries?” the friend responded. “Why do I have to wait until he cries?”

“Because I forgot where I put him,” replied the mother.

One Response to “Today’s Humour Spot”

  1. tim1965 says:

    A 75-year-old man went to his doctor. “Doctor,” he said, “I’ve about to marry a nubile 22-year-old virgin! But she wants children. I need to be sure that I’m still fertile.”

    The doctor said, “Well, take this jar home. Masturbate into it, and bring it back the next day. We’ll do a sperm count and see.”

    The next day, the man returned to the doctor. He handed over an empty jar. “What’s this?” the doctor asked.

    “Well,” the man said, “I tried and tried and tried. Nothing. I used both hands. Nothing. I put it between my legs and tried. Nothing. I put it under my arm! Nothing. I got my sister to try. No good. I had my neighbor come over and try. Nothing. I had two friends try, and nothing.

    Doctor, I just couldn’t get that jar open.”