I am a bit surprised…

…that a friend and his husband have come to London, and made plans to meet HWMBO and me for dinner. Tonight was the night (no time in the rest of their hurried trip).

Then, this morning, I get a text from the husband (whom I don’t know as well as I know my friend) which said, “Let’s meet at 4:30 pm for tea in Chinatown.” Wha? Teh? Hell? I texted back that HWMBO wasn’t available at that time, and could they make dinner at 6:30 pm.

The return text said, “No, we have dinner planned for this evening. 4:30 in Chinatown then?”

I am pondering my reply. I’m minded to just say, “No, that’s too early. See you next time we’re in the same city.” When I called HWMBO to apprise him of this latest development, he said to go ahead without him as I know them better than he does.

But I don’ wanna go.

Will keep you informed.

12 Responses to “I am a bit surprised…”

  1. trawnapanda says:

    I would have been tempted (with the benefit of time to think about it) to reply something along the lines of “Yes, I know you have dinner plans – we agreed to meet for dinner at 6:30. Are you telling me that you’re reneging?”

    I suspect your reply of “next time we’re in the same city” is probably better, but I would want to get across the “but you’re breaking a date you made some time ago” message.

    and when they’re next in your town, I’d remind them of this before you make a second date.

    I don’t know them at all, but this behaviour is rude-rude-rude. I wouldn’t want to go either.

  2. chrishansenhome says:

    I don’t know them at all, but this behaviour is rude-rude-rude. I wouldn’t want to go either.

    I shan’t name names, but yes, you do know at least one of the couple. He’s on one of the email lists upon which we both hang out (out upon which we both hang?). I suspect that he didn’t tell his husband the specifics and the husband made another dinner engagement for tonight. Probably just a cock-up but I’ve caved in as I need to go to Boots at Piccadilly Circus for some stuff and to Maplin’s for some more stuff, so I’m just going to swallow my gorge and go.

  3. vasilatos says:

    I think you should definitely go because life is short and I know it’s irritating and you can take it out on us but they’re traveling and it’s a misunderstanding, and you can do your errands and stuff and who knows when or if you’ll see them again, dolling.

    I’ve had this happen and it took me a good few years to get over being pissy about it.

  4. trawnapanda says:

    it’s not just irritating, it’s rude.

    there’s no indication that any apology has been forthcoming. Misunderstandings and failed communications I understand. But making dates on top of pre-existing engagements, and then abandoning the earlier engagement (possibly not even acknowledging that it existed) is selfish, inconsiderate, and rude.

    If an apology comes forth, chris can decide if he wants to forgive, and I suspect he will. no apology, why forgive? why ever make a date in future with them, since they might have something “better” come along and pre-empt again. They’ve done it once…

  5. vasilatos says:

    i’d need to get evidence that they intentionally blew off the date in the first place. you’re attributing to them a lot of selfishness where I’m presuming at the very least maybe forgetfulness or something gone wrong on the calendar. Have some faith and kindness, man. Are your friends this awful?

  6. chrishansenhome says:

    I’m now back and have the explanation. Had they told me this in the first place, there wouldn’t have been any problem. So it’s a miscommunication exacerbated by (probably) a cultural difference.

    My friends are staying with another friend of theirs in Docklands. They planned to take this friend out to lunch tomorrow as a token of appreciation. The friend, however, is leaving for Paris tomorrow. Thus, they have had to take him out tonight.

    I of course understand this (although when I stay with people I try to get the gratitude dining in early and as often as possible) and everything is now OK.

    Of course, the way the change in plans was communicated to me is the difficulty, not the situation, which is natural and understandable.

    So now everything is OK, our dinner is in the oven, and HWMBO is home doing his Sudoku. All’s right with the world.

  7. chrishansenhome says:

    I just realised that you won’t see my explanation unless you’ve tracked this entry, which is doubtful. So, if you go back to the entry you’ll see why dinner was cancelled.

  8. chrishansenhome says:

    I just realised that you won’t see my explanation unless you’ve tracked this entry, which is doubtful. So, if you go back to the entry you’ll see why dinner was cancelled.

  9. vasilatos says:

    Phew.

  10. henare says:

    (i read it quickly) i thought i had misread the message about our plans tomorrow evening …

  11. chrishansenhome says:

    Goodness, no, all is well. I am inundated with friends in London this week! We are still on for tomorrow evening.

  12. smlee4 says:

    i din read all the comments.

    i can oni say, well, some ppl just do not plan their time properly..