There will Always be an England, Canadian Division, Humour Department

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, ‘Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.’

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. ‘Been on holiday yet, lads?’

‘Off to England next month,’ says John. ‘We go to England every year, hire a car. And drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?’ Jim agrees.

‘Ah, England ‘ says the bartender. ‘Wonderful country … The history, the beer, the culture….’

‘Nah, we don’t like that British crap,’ says John. ‘Hamburgers & Molson’s beer, that’s us eh Jim?’ Jim agrees.

And we can’t stand the English, they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.’

‘So why keep going to England ?’ asks the bartender.

‘It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive..

3 Responses to “There will Always be an England, Canadian Division, Humour Department”

  1. thoburn says:

    ooo they should come to Singapore. We r leftie too

  2. chrishansenhome says:

    I just did a survey about YourSingapore.com and travel. If the conjoined twins walked into Taboo, would you buy them drinks? 😉

  3. tim1965 says:

    And return, here’s a famous Little Johnnie joke:

    Little Johnnie came home one day, and his dad told him that his mother had given birth to a new baby girl! “But,” his dad said, “your new sister has been born without ears. This is very upsetting to your mother, so not a word about it, OK?”

    Little Johnnie agreed.

    His dad then took Little Johnnie to the hospital. The nurse brought out the baby, and Little Johnnie’s mother showed the newborn to him.

    “Wow,” said Little Johnnie. “What a beautiful face! What a beautiful nose! What a beautiful mouth! What a handsome chin! What rosy cheeks! What nice hair!”

    “Is that all you’ve got to say,” Little Johnnie’s mother asked.

    Little Johnnie thought a bit, and then said, “Well, are her eyes okay? Can she see all right?”

    Little Johnnie’s mother said, quite astonished, “Why, yes. She can see just fine. Why do you ask, Little Johnnie?”

    “Because if she’s fucked if she has to wear glasses,” he said.