Stabbie’s been stabbed with needles this week, but that’s not why he’s a bit crabby.
Stabbie has a foot condition which requires a change of dressing every two days. Stabbie is perfectly able to change the dressing, so on Wednesday he was doing the needful (as his former Indian workmates used to say). He cuts off the old dressing, takes a look at the foot ulcers, and then cleans off the foot and the ulcers with a disinfectant. Then he soaks a square of gauze in the disinfectant and soaks the ulcers to kill any little critters that might have taken up residence. During this time Stabbie sits back and relaxes.
Wednesday Stabbie’s foot was soaking when the doorbell rang. As the ulcers are on the bottom of the foot at the front, Stabbie jumped up, hobbled to the door on his heel, and answered the intercom, “HELLO!” Stabbie does not like to answer the door when his foot is soaking but he dislikes traipsing to the Royal Mail even more if the letter carrier drops a card rather than the package.
The cheery voice came back over the intercom, “My, that was a forceful hello! We’re here to discuss the Bible with you…” which was as far as he could get when Stabbie roared, “NO. THANK YOU. GOODBYE!!!”
Now, there is no one who is more willing to discuss Scripture than Stabbie. All those years in the seminary, plus the many sermons he’s preached over the last 20 years, make him very mindful that Scripture is eminently discussable and holds many treasures for people to take away, especially in this 400th anniversary of the commissioning of the King James Bible. But Stabbie does not go from door to door and disturb people at their medical necessities to discuss the Bible. He waits until a teachable moment occurs, often in the context of a church service.
Stabbie believes in all the commandments, especially the Fifth. However, had Stabbie been able to hobble out to the front door with a cleaver, the Feeding of the Five Thousand might have had a bit of meat in it rather than just bread and fish.
Stabbie is also a Freemason. This is something that Stabbie loves and that has allowed him to excel in ritual and given him insights into human nature. However, not everyone in Freemasonry is actuated by such lofty motives. Some are more interested in honours, purple aprons, and various pins and chains. These people don’t impress Stabby very much, and he tries to avoid them when possible.
At a Lodge meeting on Tuesday evening, a group of Purple Aprons attended, bringing along their own Director of Ceremonies. This results in a separate procession into and out of the Lodge room. These went off fairly well.
However, Lodges normally have a formal dinner after meetings, and the group of Purple Aprons attends that as well, and processes in after all the Brethren have assembled. The table was arranged in a “W” shape, and Stabbie was sitting on the inside of the leg of the “W” closest to the door. The Purple Aprons were announced by their Director of Ceremonies, who led them in. The Director of Ceremonies stopped and impatiently waved at all the Brethren placed on the other side of the “W” and motioned them to stand back while the Purple Aprons entered, instead of just detouring a foot or so and walking behind them.
Now Stabbie gives all due respect to Purple Aprons. They often have responsible jobs to do within the Craft and sometimes visit three or four Lodges a week. Rank, however, should have its graces as well. To wave Brethren away from the table just so the Purple Aprons did not have to detour a couple of feet to get to their places at table is pomposity at its height.
Stabbie thinks that the poniard which is used to test the candidates at initiation might very well have other uses, and we might want to take it to dinner next time the Purple Aprons threaten to show. Then the Purple Aprons might have to find a new Director of Ceremonies.
YAY stabbie!
i hurt myself laughing at the last one. so im gonna read this at home!
I’m glad you enjoyed it. Are you on the Square?