Today’s Creepy Video

May 12th, 2011

I am certain that I will wake up screaming tonight, thinking of this video.

Today’s humour…

May 12th, 2011

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list.
  • If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  • We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; To steal from many is research.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
  • A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  • Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”.
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  • I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
  • I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.
  • You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

From Twitter 05-09-2011

May 10th, 2011

  • 13:43:50: Good afternoon, all! Hope you all had a good weekend. Congrats to Aljunied GRC, Hougang SMC, and Singapore.
  • 22:58:54: RT @MartinFaulks: Boxing , boxing and more boxing < < I thought Boxing Day was in December. Who knew?
  • 23:04:28: Kevin’s cute… RT DentonPolice: 05/09/2011 16:19 | 24 yo | TDCJ/PAROLE VIOLATION
  • 23:05:54: Kenny’s jug handles are like the Prince of Wales’… DentonPolice: 05/09/2011 15:40 | 31 yo | FMFR | NO DRIVERS LI

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Today’s Rock URL

May 8th, 2011

The Beatles had an iconic album cover toward the end of their career—they were all crossing the zebra crossing at Abbey Road in front of the studios where they recorded most of their music. Tourists (including my own brother) go to Abbey Road and have their pictures taken crossing at that spot. Well, even if you’ve never been to London you too can now watch tourists congregating on either side of the road, then crossing in groups of four, stopping the traffic while they have pictures taken. For there is now a webcam trained on that zebra crossing. Thanks to Ron’s Log for the tipoff.

From Twitter 05-06-2011

May 7th, 2011

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Today’s Coming-Out URL

May 3rd, 2011

Brandon is a soccer player at Adelphi University. He’s gay. He wrote his coming-out story for Outsports; I didn’t finish reading it with dry eyes and I hope you won’t either.

From Twitter 05-02-2011

May 3rd, 2011
  • 00:04:30: RT @BubblePOPPA: The greatest aspects of MY #life began when I learned to KEEP those that bring me down #OUT of the picture! &lt;&lt; Right on!
  • 23:38:05: Night, all.

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A rude awakening

May 2nd, 2011

I remember, back in 1978, a friend telling me that, on the morning that Pope John Paul I died, he awoke to see the Pope’s body on a bier on TV and his first thought was, “Why are they rerunning Pope Paul’s funeral?”

Waking up to breaking news is always jolting. So, when the alarm went off at 6:57am and the BBC Radio4 Today program announced the news that Osama bin Laden was dead, killed by an American military action in Pakistan, I was duly jolted.

Just as we will all remember where we were and what we were doing on September 11th, 2001, I think that we will remember today as the day on which the battle against al Qaida entered a new chapter.

I am, of course, happy that bin Laden is now beyond causing any harm on his own account to anyone in the world. My religious beliefs hold that bin Laden is now being judged by a higher authority than any earthly tribunal. But what will now follow from his death?

First, I believe that Western relations with Pakistan, especially US relations, will be deeply affected by this action. While that was inevitable in an operation of this kind, the support of Pakistan for the war in Afghanistan is absolutely necessary and this incursion will, inevitably, embarrass the Pakistanis and that loss of face will make it difficult for the Pakistani government to continue supporting the armed forces in Afghanistan. However, there will be enormous private relief in the government of Pakistan that bin Laden is no longer resident there and that this thorn in their side is now removed. Publicly they will not be able to express that relief, and they may try to rattle a few sabres in America’s direction, but they will not carry it to any great extent. A TV pundit has just said on BBC news that he believes that the Pakistani government was informed of the operation beforehand. but I think that if it had been informed, there would have been the danger that bin Laden would have been warned by people in the government that the operation was pending and would have moved elsewhere.

Second, it is clear now that al Qaida was no longer under any but nominal command and control from bin Laden. His compound lacked telephone and internet connections to the outside world. Messages may have been passed between him and al Qaida operatives but any minute-by-minute control of terrorist activity would have been impossible. Bin Laden must have been living in seclusion, in fear for his life, and spending each day worrying about his future. Good, I say. His last moments must have been filled with the same terror that he inflicted on others and that is some small recompense for those who suffered and died through his actions.

Third, President Obama should rise in the esteem of the American people through this. The last few days have seen coverage of Obama’s appearance at the Washington press corps’ dinner and “roast”, where his speech was funny, pointed, and effective. How much more we can admire his performance, as he must have known that this operation was about to take place. Only someone with certain knowledge of the future would have been free of doubt, worry, and apprehension lest the operation fail. Yet the President was cool, calm, collected, and able to deliver a speech full of humour without disclosing any inner worry. Had this operation ended in failure, Obama might have been destined to share the fate of President Carter, who authorised the incursion into Iran to try to rescue the US embassy hostages and then had to carry the blame for its result.

This will pose a dilemma for the Republicans. They will not be able to oppose the President effectively for quite a while. They will emphasize (rightly) the bravery of the soldiers who carried out the operation, while minimising the involvement of the President. As the 2012 election approaches, the American people will remember that President Obama authorised and motivated this operation and, I hope, will return him for a second term. The President must, however, not rely on this one operation to re-elect him. He must continue on the course he has charted.

Finally, bin Laden’s death will inspire plots from isolated terrorists to in some way revenge themselves on those who are responsible for bin Laden’s death. This will mean increased security around transport hubs and especially around airports. To my knowledge, no organisations that might be expected to be dismayed by bin Laden’s death have made any public statements. Perhaps they won’t. But privately, some people may feel that this event gives them license to avenge bin Laden’s death and this should give us pause, for the causes of terrorism do not lie in one man’s mania. Those causes are many and deep, and the solution does not lie in killing one man, however evil he might be. We need to redouble our efforts to understand the causes of terrorism in order to remedy them and remove at least this particular scourge from our lives.

From Twitter 05-01-2011

May 2nd, 2011

  • 19:03:50: RT @antoinedodson24: Why was I not invited to the Royal Wedding!!!!??? < < We would have loved to have hosted you here in London...
  • 20:33:56: @BubblePOPPA Thanks for posting all the stuff you post. If anyone #unfollow s you it’s their loss.
  • 20:43:18: RT @BubblePOPPA: #GroupHugsWithGropes Can I get involved with that?

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Low Sunday Sermon OTN

May 1st, 2011

I did something today that I have never done before. I recycled a sermon I preached in 1996 on the same texts as today. Mitigating circumstances are:

  • It was delivered 15 years ago.
  • It was delivered to a different congregation.

Nearly every year the Vicar at St. John’s takes Low Sunday off and asks me to preach. Every year the Gospel is John 20:19-31—Doubting Thomas. Even before I started preaching at St. John’s, I preached on Doubting Thomas. In fact, I believe the first sermon I ever preached, at Integrity/New York in the early 1990’s, was on this Gospel text.

The first couple of times one preaches on a certain text, it’s fairly easy to get some inspiration. Once you’ve preached on it 10 times or more, it starts to get difficult to have that inspired moment. I had trouble yesterday; I wrote about 1-1/2 pages, and stopped. Then I looked through my old sermons and, abracadabra!

Please forgive me. If any other of you are preachers, tell me: do you recycle sermons occasionally?

For those who aren’t interested, I’ll put it behind a cut.
Read the rest of this entry »

From Twitter 04-30-2011

May 1st, 2011
  • 17:50:32: RT @ImaCum_N_UrFace: RT if you want a Jamaican’s beef patty lmao
  • 23:35:47: Night all…just checked, and the sermon I’m going to deliver tomorrow won’t be the same as the one I used last year. Whew!

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From Twitter 04-29-2011

April 30th, 2011

  • 00:36:35: Well, tweeps & peeps, off to bed now. I’ll bet Wills and Kate are having trouble sleeping…
  • 18:04:22: RT @eddyPham: did everyone/anyone watch the wedding < < Yup, the whole thing, limousine to last kiss.
  • 23:50:57: RT @RichTheTiger: XXL or Megawoof? Votes please? < < Megawoof. Daz is a great guy and you'll love the music.
  • 23:51:40: @RichTheTiger Oops. Late night finger. MegawooF
  • 23:57:52: Well, all, good night. Calm down, dears, and have fun. See you tomorrow.

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From Twitter 04-28-2011

April 29th, 2011

  • 21:31:25: Good evening, all. Had the plumber in today and that fouled up the whole day…
  • 21:32:34: RT @corvedacosta: Are you planning on having tea while you watch the wedding?< < Well, G and T...
  • 22:21:59: RT @gazedd: Sorry 4 William on his bachelor night, must feel weird stuffing

Not the Poet Laureate

April 28th, 2011

I have been trying to write a higgledy-piggledy about the Royal Wedding ever since I realised that “Catherine Middleton” is a double-dactyl.

Catherine Middleton
Commoner-born, will be
Dutchess, then Queen.

Wedding Day streets feature
Hoi polloi cheer and Re-
publicans keen.

From Twitter 04-27-2011

April 28th, 2011

  • 17:12:53: @MartinFaulks The husband of the owner of Atlantis bookshop is a Lodge brother of mine in Goliath.
  • 22:08:35: Weed puts a lump on my head, not in my throat… RT DentonPolice: 04/27/2011 13:40 | 26 yo | POSS MARIJ < 2OZ
  • 22:10:45: A cutie… RT DentonPolice: 04/27/2011 02:43:06 | 22 years old | POSS MARIJ >2OZ< =4OZ
  • 22:13:00: Britney’s the name, drag’s the game… RT DentonPolice: 04/26/2011 12:24 | 26 yo| FOLLOWING TOO CLOSE
  • 22:15:54: Speeding from the Twilight Zone… RT DentonPolice: 04/26/2011 00:17 | 22 yo | SPEEDING 43/30 MPH ZONE |
  • 22:17:09: Cute as a brick u-know-what… RT DentonPolice: 04/26/2011 00:01 | 17 yo | DL NO DRIVERS LICENSE
  • 22:20:57: RT @jjjap: I wonder what kind of backlash an Asian person will get if he/she decides to run for the White House in the future. #smh <a bad 1
  • 22:22:17: @_sshawnn_ They are probably treated as adults for legal purposes after they are arrested…it’s Texas, you know.]#
  • 22:38:34: RT @MrNishKumar: How old are those Michael Winner adverts? Cameron may as well have stood at the despatch box shouting ‘Waaaassssuuuuupppp’.

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More F*ckwittery in the United States

April 27th, 2011

In preparation for the Presidential election next year, President Obama has finally gotten the State of Hawaii to release his original birth certificate. This is not usually done, but a group of f*ckwits called “birthers” have been doubting the facts of the President’s birthplace since he first ran for election. They said that he must have been born in Kenya (where his father hailed from), or in Indonesia (where he spent a few of his primary-school years). He just couldn’t have been born in the United States.

Now, of course, the birthers are saying that the fact that his father was not an American citizen makes it problematic that Obama is qualified to be president. The definition of “natural-born citizen” has never been decided by the Supreme Court, but the general idea is that anyone who is born in the territory of the United States is a natural-born citizen. Obama was born in the territory of the United States. Thus he is a natural-born citizen. There are questions as to whether people born outside the territory of the United States to at least one US citizen parent are “natural-born citizens”, but this has never come before the Supreme Court as all mainstream presidential candidates have been born in the United States or its territories. Barry Goldwater was born in Arizona when it was a territory, but I am fairly certain that had he been elected he would have been considered a “natural-born citizen”. John McCain was born in the Panamá Canal Zone before it was handed back to Panamá; his parents were both US citizens. Had McCain been elected, I don’t believe that any “birthers” would have come out of the woodwork to challenge McCain’s eligibility for the Presidency.

Let’s just call this what it is: racism, pure and simple. President Obama would not have been challenged in this way had he been of pure white ancestry. To continue this silliness after the documentary proof of his birth in Hawaii has been released is just a symptom of f*ckwittery.

Today’s Lesson URL

April 27th, 2011

Every once in a while we see someone we’d rather not interact with, for whatever reason. My friend Joel once had an encounter like that, and learned a lesson therefrom.

From Twitter 04-26-2011

April 27th, 2011
  • 18:55:38: Good afternoon, all. Decided to start looking for work again.
  • 23:11:54: Made my mom’s stuffing tonight. HWMBO loved it lots more than Paxo, thank God. Time for bed; play safe, be good, and be careful!

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From Twitter 04-25-2011

April 26th, 2011

Today’s Easter Monday URL

April 25th, 2011

I hope that you all had a great Easter day. I can guarantee that will enjoy seeing some others enjoying their exercises over Easter.

From Twitter 04-24-2011

April 25th, 2011

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From Twitter 04-21-2011

April 22nd, 2011

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From Twitter 04-20-2011

April 21st, 2011
  • 21:01:30: Cast my postal vote (=US “absentee ballot”) in favour of AV today.

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From Twitter 04-19-2011

April 20th, 2011
  • 08:35:42: Morning, all. Evan Davis on @BBCr4today just did an excellent interview with the Prime Minister.
  • 18:10:59: Off to Lodge of Instruction. Getting close to May…and I’m a bit nervous. Hope to be OK on the night.
  • 18:59:41: RT @jonk BP 135/73; pulse 74; weight 139.9 (lost a couple?) &lt;&lt; Good for you!
  • 19:06:19: @jonk Remember not to drink grapefruit juice while taking statins. It interferes with thwm.
  • 23:57:12: @jonk I’ve been taking statins for 6 years and haven’t had any problems so far.Luckily I dislike grapefruit juice.
  • 23:57:53: Well, tweeps & peeps, time for bed. Play safe, lay off the grapefruit juice, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

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From Twitter 04-18-2011

April 19th, 2011

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Today’s Luvvies Story

April 17th, 2011

Taken from the Grauniad:

Dame Judy Dench’s eyesight isn’t what it once was, but she’s as feisty as ever. She accidentally stepped off a curb a while back right into the path of an oncoming taxi. The cab screamed to a halt and the driver rolled down his window and shouted, “Bitch!” She looked at him and shouted back, “That’s DAME Bitch to you!”

From Twitter 04-16-2011

April 17th, 2011
  • 15:31:19: Back from Diabetes UK focus group day. Very interesting and informative. Kudos to 87-y-o Irene, who manages diabetes very well indeed!
  • 22:58:33: Well, tweeps & peeps, sack-time. Have fun, play safe, and cya tomorrow.

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From Twitter 04-15-2011

April 16th, 2011

A TED talk worth 20 minutes of your time

April 15th, 2011

Almost all TED talks are worth your time, but this one is especially good. It’s Roger Ebert, his wife, and some friends delivering Roger’s thoughts on communication through the unique prism of his inability to speak.

If you don’t follow Roger’s blog, you’re missing out on a really good reading experience. He shows that modern computing and communications have opened up an entirely new vista for people who would have been isolated only a few short years ago.

From Twitter 04-14-2011

April 15th, 2011
  • 20:03:32: Billy Ray was driving while black RT DentonPolice: 04/14/2011 13:54 | 27 yo | DL NO DRIVERS LICENS
  • 20:04:54: Brent’s rough … RT DentonPolice: 04/14/2011 12:15 | 24 yo | ASSLT CAUSES BODILY INJURY FAMILY
  • 20:06:04: Lovely eyes… RT DentonPolice: 04/14/2011 01:50 | 24 yo | SPEED-I35/SPEEDING 68 IN A 55 MILE PER HOUR ZONE | VPTA
  • 20:07:22: Ernest’s a bit of all right… RT DentonPolice: 04/14/2011 04:05:| 23 yo | ALCOHOL PUBLIC INTOX
  • 20:08:20: Jabba the Hutt’s an addict? Who knew? RT DentonPolice: 04/13/2011 23:49 | 29 yo | POSS OF DRUG PARAPHERNALIA
  • 21:07:02: Mikael for you otter-lovers… RT DentonPolice: 04/14/2011 14:05 | 31 yo | FAIL TO MAINTAIN FIN
  • 21:13:00: RT @GeorgeTakei: Kobe’s “F*cking f*ggot” slur not “meant to offend.” In related news U.S. sorry, fined for internment. #ThatsMrF*ckingF*ggot
  • 22:08:31: Surreal story of the day: Zsa Zsa to become mother again at 94, husband says. Surrogate mom, of course.
  • 22:26:51: RT @jonk: every time i see Covent Garden i keep wanting to say Convent Garden &lt; Was orig. a convent garden of Westminster Abbey, so ur right
  • 23:29:17: RT @jonk: @chrishansenhome ha nice. well, it sounds better as convent, imho 😛 &lt;&lt; The convent’s been gone for centuries.
  • 23:45:42: OK, tweeps & peeps, time for bed. Be good, and if you can’t be good, be careful.

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I pasted my latest sermon into this app…

April 14th, 2011

…and I got this:

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

I guess I should call myself the Rev’d Cthulhu.

Another joke from MadPriest

April 14th, 2011

I must say that the breadth of Fr. MadPriest’s acquaintance with jokes of this nature is quite surprising.

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes it is.”

Boy- “I have a baseball.”

Man- “That’s nice.”

Boy- “Want to buy it?”

Man- “No, thanks.”

Boy- “My dad’s outside.”

Man- “OK, how much?”

Boy- “$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy- “Dark in here.”

Man- “Yes, it is.”

Boy- “I have a baseball glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”

Boy- “$750.”

Man- “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.”

The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The son says “$1,000.”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again”

Today’s Joke

April 13th, 2011

Don’t blame me, blame MadPriest.

Why I Am now Divorced

Last Thursday was my birthday. After getting out of bed I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday’’ and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought … Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids … they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said, ‘Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!’ It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.’

I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Rick said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We?’

I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’

He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner.’

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’

‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake … Followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there…

…On the couch…


From Twitter 04-12-2011

April 13th, 2011
  • 23:21:32: Good night, tweeps & peeps. Have just discovered my mom’s recipe for stuffing! Hurray! It’s Acadian.

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From Twitter 04-11-2011

April 12th, 2011
  • 09:31:21: Off to a meeting at the diocese.
  • 20:01:12: A priest friend told me today that someone collapsed in the congregation yesterday while she was preaching on Lazarus. Kiss-of-life required
  • 20:30:30: @GaySkyHooker Hooray!
  • 20:46:02: @jonk Mio sounds good; I wonder if it’ll ever cross the Atlantic…
  • 20:48:53: Going upstairs to nap before bed.
  • 22:06:59: RT @dgupta5150: What language is this? &lt;&lt; it’s Thai.
  • 22:23:15: I ate pizza, and then napped until my honey came home. “Coq au vin leftovers?” I asked. He ate them. That’s love.

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From Twitter 04-10-2011

April 11th, 2011
  • 00:01:54: Well, tweeps & peeps, the coq au vin was lovely tonight (if I do say so myself) so it’s time to hit the hay. C u all tomorrow!
  • 07:22:49: @Perignonic Good. Hope it heals soon.
  • 23:07:48: Well, tweeps & peeps,. it’s 11:06pm and as WPIX used to ask, “Do you know where your children are?” “Sure, don’t have any!” Play safe now!

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From Twitter 04-09-2011

April 10th, 2011
  • 10:48:28: Next time I get a scam phone call about Windows I’m going to ask the nice guy on the phone how big his penis is and whether he’s cut or not.
  • 11:48:25: Asking who is the ‘man’ and the ‘woman’ in a gay relationship is like going into a Chinese restaurant & asking which chopstick is the fork.
  • 12:41:13: @soveren sorry, hope that everything works out…
  • 12:47:08: @soveren Work can be a bitch…I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
  • 20:35:36: Cooking coq au vin…nothing’s too good for HWMBO!
  • 20:37:12: @Perignonic use an antiseptic, dress it & don’t wear slippers/sandals outside.
  • 20:51:58: @GaySkyHooker great! The road to happiness is paved with w*nking.

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Today’s SPAM&trade; Email

April 9th, 2011

Permanent Mission of ENGLAND to the United Nations
351 East 52nd Street, New York, NY 10022

Our Ref: UN/TH/066147/2011
Attention Beneficiary,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this mail came to you. We have been having a meeting for the past 3 months which ended yesterday with the secretary to the UNITED NATIONS. This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS has agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$900,000.00 each and you have to indicate how much you lost in the hands of scammers.

This includes every foreign contractors, Inheritance, Dating and Lottery payment that have not received their Lottery/Inheritance payment, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international Lottery payment that failed due to Government problems etc. We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed.

You are advised to contact Mr John Paul who is in charge of your payment through our paying center in West Africa as he is our representative in Lagos-Nigeria, contact him immediately for more information on how to get your compensation of US$900,000.00 payment from the United Nations.

Therefore, you should send him your full Name,telephone number and your correct home address, Contact Mr John Paul immediately for your compensation payments.

Person to Contact: John Paul

Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you receive your compensation funds don’t neglect this I advice you.

United Nations, Making the world a better place.

Ban Ki-Moon

Dear Mr. Ban:

Thanks for your notification. As I am fairly well provisioned, I do not need any additional money. I ask that you contribute it to UNICEF and really make the world a better place.


Chris Hansen

From Twitter 04-08-2011

April 9th, 2011

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From Twitter 04-07-2011

April 8th, 2011
  • 17:15:17: @MartinFaulks I would think that “W. Master will do unless there is some need to specify that he’s WM of a Mark Lodge.
  • 17:16:58: Elephant and Castle Shopping Centre To Stay? | Londonist via @londonist
  • 17:38:21: @Peston Epsilon, a commercial email sender for business, had a security breach and many companies’ data were compromised.

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Today’s Honeymoon URL

April 7th, 2011

A Swedish couple, newly-married, decided to take their honeymoon partly in the Antipodes, with a swing through Asia before returning to Sweden. They did not count on Mother Nature to make their honeymoon more interesting than it might otherwise have been.

From Twitter 04-06-2011

April 7th, 2011
  • 18:49:44: I am so annoyed with and DHL, who managed to screw up a routine delivery for an entire week.
  • 19:15:01: Had my PICC line unblocked today; just took 3-1/2 hours at the quacks’ to get it done.
  • 22:13:17: Time to hit the hay. We’ll see tomorrow whether clearing the PICC line worked. Sleep tight, all.

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From Twitter 04-05-2011

April 6th, 2011

  • 17:41:38: Off to Lodge of Instruction tonight…rehearsing a Second degree as well as appointment of officers.
  • 23:25:05: Well, tweeps & peeps, time for bed. Off to the quacks tomorrow to see if they can clear my PICC line. Sleep tight, possums!

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From Twitter 04-04-2011

April 5th, 2011
  • 19:38:49: The dog found floating in the ocean after the Japanese tsunami has been reunited with his owner.
  • 19:47:19: RT @jonk: (i don’t rewear jeans unless absolutely nec.) &lt;&lt; I could see that if you went commando…
  • 19:59:37: Jedward’s long-lost triplet? RT DentonPolice: 04/04/2011 12:15 | 21 yo | ALCHOL MISREPRESENTATION OF AGE BY MINOR
  • 20:49:32: RT @soveren: @maleaddict coz u miss us &lt;&lt; And we miss you!
  • 23:35:17: Nighty nite, tweeps & peeps! Sleep well.

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From Twitter 04-03-2011

April 4th, 2011
  • 21:40:09: RT @IndividualCars: Only 846 followers to go and we are giving away 2 pairs of Beats Headphones by Dr Dre. RT for the chance to win
  • 22:03:31: Well, tweeps & peeps, another week ends. I’m very tired so the land of Nod is where I’m going. Sweet dreams, all. Be good. Play safe, too!

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From Twitter 04-02-2011

April 3rd, 2011
  • 01:57:15: Night, all. Nice evening with friends at Shepherd’s Bush. Back late after two dust-ups on the 148 bus.

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From Twitter 04-01-2011

April 2nd, 2011

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From Twitter 03-31-2011

April 1st, 2011

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Today’s Uplifting Video

March 31st, 2011

Many of us live in cities with underground transport systems: Singapore’s MRT, London’s Tube system, New York’s Subway, Boston’s T. There is an unwritten rule on the train: do not talk to strangers unless there is an emergency.

The guy who made the video below broke that taboo, with amazing results. Thanks to Roger Ebert, a great blogger, for drawing it to my attention.

Today’s Easter Egg Video

March 31st, 2011

The creme egg is a confectionery that I thought was limited to the UK but seems to have migrated across the Atlantic. We begin seeing them in the shops the week after Christmas, anticipating Easter.

Here’s an imaginative way of using them to make a point.