Archive for June, 2010

From Twitter 06-29-2010

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
  • 10:38:41: @pierregoh I’m really sorry. I hope they find out what’s wrong soon.
  • 10:57:46: @pierregoh My parents were fairly mild-mannered. My grandfather swore like a trooper. So do I. Skipped a generation. $£%#’;][^##0*()&*(~@:
  • 21:39:07: @jonk ask Bill Clinton about hard-to-remove stains…
  • 23:14:28: OK, tweeps and peeps, back from rehearsal and now time for bed. Sleep tight, all.

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From Twitter 06-28-2010

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
  • 09:55:15: Morning, all. Waiting for nurse to shove some IV up my arm, and had a restful night, for a change. Hope y’all are in good form too.
  • 14:05:50: @mkrigsman Venue should be central in some way…what part of London are you staying in?
  • 14:08:40: Screw all that anti-immigrant stuff: it’s people like these we need to reinvigorate the UK:
  • 16:42:42: @urbanbohemian Perhaps they are a bit unhinged and you just haven’t noticed…
  • 18:59:38: @urbanbohemian Shows how easy it is to find most people online these days.
  • 22:45:55: @jonk how bizarre. who thought of such a thing? better to go out on the streets and find a random person to do it than do this…
  • 22:47:24: @jonk I now empathise with people who find out for the first time what “felching” means.
  • 22:50:01: @jonk oh jeez; I assumed you knew what that was. OMGIH!
  • 22:50:55: @jonk you’ve learned two new words today. To ensure you can make them your own, use them three times in conversation. … 😉

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From Twitter 06-27-2010

Monday, June 28th, 2010
  • 07:04:43: Morning, all. Woken up at 0630 by a loud drinking party in the churchyard. Shoo’ed ’em away despite their protests that they were praying.
  • 13:48:31: The England team visited an orphanage in Johannesburg this PM. “It’s awful to see their sad, dejected faces with no hope,” said Jamal, 6.
  • 14:43:38: Unsure. Are they still attached to him?RT @rustyrockets: Harry Redknapp’s ears are moving independently. Is this a good omen?
  • 20:22:54: @mkrigsman Sire. In my diary
  • 20:31:37: @mkrigsman That should have been “Sure”. Applebutterfingers.
  • 23:12:59: Well, all, hot night in London means it’s time to retire. See you all tomorrow. I hear we won. Oh, that was the _cricket_ game. Good night.

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There will Always Be an England, Beyond the Call of Duty Department

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

A Paraolympian whose wheelchair and artificial legs were taken when his car was stolen earlier this month had lost all hope of walking his sister down the aisle on her wedding day today. But for the heroic efforts of a group of artisans who stepped in to help, he would have had to wheel her down the aisle in his borrowed wheelchair.

We often hear of English jobsworths in government positions. They are said not to exert themselves unduly except to boil the kettle for another cup of tea, and would not extend a finger to help their own grannies in some essential task. The team who helped out in this case are entirely unlike that and are examples of the best of British skill and heart. The amputee, who walked his sister down the aisle, and those who stayed in Friday night to help, are my “Bricks of the Day” (pace Fr. Madpriest).

Now let’s see if he gets his car and the gear inside back.

From Twitter 06-26-2010

Sunday, June 27th, 2010
  • 05:08:07: Well, all, maybe I should try to go back to bed for 2 hours. I hate insomnia.
  • 08:57:00: @blurfcuk Mine’s fine. In fact, I think it may be a bit faster and the battery time lengthened. U have lots of apps?
  • 09:15:37: @blurfcuk No, no jailbreak. I am totally legal. You may be right, then.
  • 10:12:58: Do I look drunk in this? RT @DentonPolice: 06/26/2010 03:39:53 | 22 y o | Bond: $500 | ALCOHOL/PUBLIC INTOXICATION
  • 18:21:06: I’m up for it! Any day after Tuesday 7th RT @mkrigsman: Anyone interested in a London tweetup during the week of July 5? #CIO #itfail
  • 21:02:53: @therealgokwan Geez, that’s awful. For the record, I would and I’m gay. As for him, he has no taste. Ignore him. <3 U (platonically)
  • 22:30:11: Well, all, off to bed now after arranging my pills for the week and then taking tonight’s installment. Weary evening of emails.

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Happy birthday, <lj user=”missinned”>&#8230;

Saturday, June 26th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-25-2010

Saturday, June 26th, 2010
  • 08:22:24: Morning, tweeps & peeps. Hope to get out for a time today. Slept much better last night but not perfectly.
  • 08:54:10: @jallen285 Thanks for the #FF
  • 10:04:30: What YOU looking at? (He’s cute, though) RT DentonPolice: 06/25/2010 03:23:52 | 22 yo | PLANO PD / DWLI
  • 10:09:11: Do you know who I am? I sneer at speed limits! RT DentonPolice: 06/25/2010 03:17:37 | 25 yo | SPEEDING 47/35 MPH Z
  • 10:15:21: Follow @jallan285 , for the vids on YouTube as well as the tweets. #FF
  • 10:16:44: Ran out of milk, did he? RT @se1: Iain Duncan Smith visited Asda in Old Kent Road yesterday afternoon
  • 16:23:40: Auto accident right in front of the house. Injuries. New Kent Road is closed for investigation. Have warned HWMBO not to take a bus home.
  • 16:26:42: @se1 Yes, right in front of my flat. I think pedestrian vs. coach/car/both. Jaywalkers abound at this corner so accidents happen ~ 1/yr.
  • 16:39:02: @superdupershark #FF thanks for yours–everyone else follow @superdupershark now!
  • 16:39:14: @jerricklim Congratulations!
  • 16:40:04: @urbanbohemian it looks OK in Chrome too.
  • 19:46:02: @se1 the accident response unit is taking the tape down on New Kent Road now.
  • 19:49:37: New Kent Road will be open shortly I think-they’re taking the accident tape down now. Water stain where they cleaned up after the injury 🙁
  • 19:50:22: #FF @mariocruzxxx he’s the best!
  • 20:03:29: #FF @kylekendoll — Check his video out — CHOKING HAZARD
  • 20:51:02: @soveren Person hit by a car while trying to jaywalk. Don’t know whether s/he is badly injured or not but air ambulance means not good…
  • 22:14:06: @soveren For a minute I thot you tweeted “watched enterprise on VI” and wondered that the text editor had gotten so versatile…
  • 22:16:58: @soveren shyt-on-a-shingle, you make me feel old. Go here and be awed by its full-of-unixy-goodness:
  • 22:34:32: @soveren no Linux??
  • 22:35:35: @kylekendoll Is “pickle” a euphemism? I’m sad because I’m old… 🙁
  • 22:37:49: @soveren You have _no_ Sbux up there? Where do you live, Bunghole-juxta-Worldsend??? I thot they were ubiquitous in UK!
  • 22:39:19: @soveren Ubuntu is worth the time. I put it on a 7-y-o lappy with funny specs and it was absolutely 1st rate. Not a memory hog either.
  • 22:42:10: @soveren well, get a strong Costa’s and get down to it, my son. (tying up threads…)
  • 22:43:13: @soveren BTW, have u seen this video in re the Singapore floods? See it b4 it’s toast:
  • 22:45:48: OK all, despite the energetic series of tweets I’ve been tweeting, I’m bushed. A tweet in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. Nighty-night all!

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Bitchy Correspondence Department, Masonic Division

Friday, June 25th, 2010

I am a member of various Masonic Orders, and have recently been invited to join another. The ceremony is to be held shortly and I had put off a decision to see whether my foot was recovering well enough for me to attend. However, I inadvertently passed the deadline. I got the following message, printed in several rather bright colours, which I will try to imitate by printing it in RED:

On 25/06/2010 17:28, Bro. XXX wrote:
> *__*
> Brethren,
> To date, response to the attendance at and DINING afterwards of the
> above Unit is appallingly poor to say the least, with barely half the
> Petitioners having failed to inform me whether or not they will attend,
> but more importantly whether or not whether they intend to dine afterwards.
> The date by which indications and cheques should have been received was
> Wednesday last and I regret to say that unless we are able to increase
> the dining number beyond the current 16 (to include the guest of 3
> Petitioners), the cost of the meal may have to be increased substantially.
> As one of those brethren who have failed to inform me, I am writing to
> you individually to ascertain whether or not it is your intention
> a). To be present,
> b). Will wish to dine afterwards and
> c). Whether you will be bringing a guest.
> You may recall at the last Petitioners’ Meeting the cost of the
> meal was budgeted on each brother Petitioner bringing a guest, which, if
> my recollection serves me well, most of those present indicated that
> they would bring at least one guest.
> It is now too late to submit your dining form and cheque, but, _*IT IS
> order that final numbers can be submitted to the Caterer AND to enable a
> table plan to be printed. The Director of Ceremonies will also need to
> know which officers will not be attending, to enable him to modify
> Temple seating. I am available over the weekend to take calls on my
> mobile number, which is 07714217036, or my home number which is
> 020-7265-0953, on which a message can be left if I am not at home.
> Please Note: Failure to respond by 12noon on Monday will result in *NO
> MEAL BEING ORDERED FOR YOU*, and for which you will only have yourself
> to blame!
> Brethren a measure of co-operation would be much appreciated if we are
> to make a success of Tuesday’s Consecration.

I found this rather acerbic, so I sat down and replied thusly, in order to preserve the reputation for unparalleled urbanity and generosity toward my fellows which my emollient prose so richly deserves:

Dear Bro. XXX

While I did have every intention of replying to your email in a timely fashion, I did not have the information from my doctors that I required in order to make a decision as to whether I could attend or not. After my recent hospitalisation, for which I was only released for one evening to be installed as Master of my Craft Lodge, I was and am still barely mobile and was confined to my home from June 4 until June 18th. I now have a cast on my foot which nearly reaches to my knee and is designed to reduce my mobility to the point where the serious ulcer which resulted from infection that ate away three tendons on the bottom of my foot and nearly required the amputation of three toes down to the first metatarsal has a chance to heal.

I have thus decided that, given my reduced mobility, my condition requires that I take enough extended rest that I will not be able to attend the Consecration nor the Dinner afterward. Please extend my fraternal greetings along with my apology for non-attendance and please accept my best wishes for a successful evening.

Sincerely and Fraternally yours,

W.Bro. Chris Hansen, WM, Goliath Lodge 5595 UGLE

I am inordinately fond of this reply that at the same time is unobjectionable as to its cause and aim, and yet gets the point across in such a way as to further inform the sender about the importance of being not only earnest, but impeccably polite when enquiring whether Lady Bracknell or her modern equivalents have any inclinition to join the sender for High Tea in the Lower Gardens, around the Fountain, on Thursday next.

Note that I am protecting this so that idle bystanders will have difficulty in getting through and reading it.


I have become SO English…I must take dialect lessons so that I can actually speak like Her Majesty the Queen, clipped vowels and all.

Imaginative uses for iPads

Friday, June 25th, 2010

There has been a lot of ink (electronic and actual) expended on the iPad. Most of it centres on using one for fun. Not many talk about practical uses for them, except for this one. I almost wish I could do something like this at home here.

Happy birthday, <lj user=”slate_canada”>&#8230;

Friday, June 25th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-24-2010

Friday, June 25th, 2010
  • 17:44:04: Afternoon is waning fast and evening approaches. I have more pep today–let’s hope that continues.
  • 20:37:18: @MrPandaBehr Hm. The Rev’d Spooner might have checked out the size of dicks at Tent’s. Along with the queer old dean (or the dear old queen)
  • 20:50:25: RT @jerricklim: Why do I take vitamins? For very expensive Pee! 🙂
  • 20:53:26: tolerance (defn.):

Today’s Commercial

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

I’m not a fan of Orangina, but I am a fan of imaginative advertising. I’m an even bigger fan of imaginative advertising that has a gay slant.

Now according to a French website (in English), the ad was judged “too polemic”. What do you think?

Thanks to Towleroad for this one.

Note to the Deputy Prime Minister

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

I am getting somewhat tired of the media constantly harping away on the Liberal Democrats’ “abandonment” of their election manifesto pledges now that they are in government. Brits are so unused to coalition government that they (I’m talking you, John Humphrys!) forget one thing: When you govern in a coalition, compromise is necessary and the manifesto pledges that a party makes are contingent upon that party’s being elected to a majority government. Neither the Conservatives nor the Liberal Democrats are in a position to make good on all (or even any, truthfully) of their manifesto pledges. So Humphrys: Let up on Clegg, will you? And Clegg: Stress the point I just made and you can shut Humphrys up. There is no reasonable answer to it.

Note to the non-Brits: John Humphreys is the pugnacious attack-dog of BBC Radio 4’s Today programme. He interviewed the Deputy Prime Minister and kept harping on about the LibDems’ abandonment of their pledge not to raise VAT in government. The budget yesterday will raise it from 17.5% to 20% at the end of the year. Had Clegg stressed the point above, Humphreys would have had a difficult time pressing his case.

From Twitter 06-23-2010

Thursday, June 24th, 2010
  • 16:55:00: Hi all, sorry I’m checking in late. Foot clinic says wound is improving, but I am absolutely knackered dragging the cast around.
  • 20:21:50: Om nom nom HWMBO brought me a Subway BMT sammich, no cucumbers or sweetcorn, mayo, footlong. I have the best husband ever.
  • 20:22:06: Now that I’ve eaten, time for a nap. I am knackered.

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From Twitter 06-22-2010

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
  • 01:45:46: @taccuosti If a Brother came to our UGLE Lodge like that he’d be denied entrance. Black suit & black/Masonic tie, white shirt, white gloves.
  • 09:22:29: Morning, all. Had a restless night for part, restful for another part. I hope that I can have rest for the whole night tonight.
  • 09:22:57: @mariocruzxxx goodnight, sweet prince. sleep well.

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From Twitter 06-21-2010

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
  • 06:21:00: Morning, tweeps and peeps! Today I was up with the sun: . Happy Solstice Day!
  • 06:42:21: @sexydeadstar Goodnight…enjoy the longest day of the year tomorrow!
  • 07:00:19: @pierregoh Sorry, I laughed ruefully as I’ve done the exact same thing. Didn’t tweet my rueful laugh as I don’t know how to spell it…
  • 09:31:23: @tug Thanks; I’ve added a footnote.
  • 09:32:49: Just got a call from the Area Bishop enquiring about my health. Had he known I was in hospital he would have visited. The Area Dean knew.
  • 13:52:57: @fj Why wait until then? Get it now and save us all the trouble.
  • 16:37:16: RT @TinaVuitton: Think of your man as a shower – If you turn him on…he’ll make you wet!!! &lt;3
  • 16:38:53: RT @urbanbohemian: An April’s Fools day item got a cease & desist. Wasn’t iCade or Dharma Clock: EVEN BETTER: Thx, NPB!
  • 16:40:04: @urbanbohemian – Try doing what we used to do and close all active programs. It worked for me.
  • 19:38:14: Downloading v4.0 iPhone software…
  • 23:12:21: @MrPandaBehr I have a 3G and hope to upgrade to 4 before the world ends in 2012 😉 it did go to v4 but was really crap about it.

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Always darkest before the dawn?

Monday, June 21st, 2010


Today is the longest day of the year for those of us who happen to live in the Northern Hemisphere. And, the more Northern you are, the longer the day will last. A little known fact is that, at the Equator, the days and nights do not vary much in length during the year. In Singapore, the time of sunrise and sunset is so nearly the same every day that it’s really not worth reporting. And, there is no concept of “Daylight Savings Time” there. This month the time of sunrise varies about 3 minutes from 1 June to 30 June and the length of day year round is always a few minutes longer than 12 hours.

However, 9 minutes ago, at 0443 British Summer Time, the sun officially rose over London, and I rose with it, I’m afraid. The full night begins to disperse around 0330 or so, and right now it is light enough to say that, indeed, dawn has arrived. For those astonished friends in the United States, consider this: London is at the same latitude as Labrador in Canada. Luckily the Gulf Stream you have so kindly allowed us to share in keeps us warmer than Labrador (at least most of the time).

Tonight, at 2122, the sun will officially set. Twilight does not end until almost 2200. The length of day here in London on June 21, 2010 is 16 hours 38 minutes 22 seconds, according to this sunrise/sunset website. I gather that they do not reckon the day actually begins at sunrise and ends at sunset.

Now that my sleep is mostly disturbed, either by beta-blockers or by the temporalities of trying to sleep with a cast on my right leg, I find it difficult to sleep when the sun has risen—by a supreme act of will, or by staying up past midnight, I can usually sleep until 0600. But, as I set the alarm clock to 0700, and HWMBO finds it difficult to get up until at least 0730 (when breakfast has been made and I force him to get up and face the day), it seems silly to get up at 0443.

But, at last, the new UK government is seeing some sense about time. The Conservatives, normally Eurosceptic, are mooting a change so that, at least in England and Wales, we join the Western European time zone. The arguments for this are legion: millions of people in England are awakening at 0700 and wasting 2 hours and 17 minutes of daylight (and even more in Newcastle, Durham, or the region near the Scottish Borders). To go ahead permanently would mean that we only waste 1 hour and 17 minutes on this longest day of the year.

This would mean that in winter, when we have the shortest day of the year in late December (this year December 22), the sun would not rise in London until 0904 and would not set until 1654, leaving a day of 7 hours 49 minutes 43 seconds. In Scotland, these times would be later yet: 0946 for sunrise on Dec. 22 and 1645 for sunset, leaving a day of 6 hours 58 minutes. The Scots have always protested that this would mean that their bairns would be walking to school in the dark, walking home in the dark, and would be more susceptible to automobile accidents. My wonder is that any Scots at all are walking anywhere, as they are officially the unhealthiest people in Europe—they are the originators of the famous Deep-Fried Mars Bar, after all.

The Europhobes in England will predictably protest that Greenwich will never enjoy the luxury of being in Greenwich Mean Time again. The fact that it’s been officially called UTC (Universal Coordinated Time in English; UTC is the French acronym*) makes no difference. They will not relish the fact that the English, Scots, and (probably) the Irish on both sides of the border will enjoy one extra hour of active daylight in the summer along with those on the other side of the English Channel (famous newspaper headline: Fog covers Channel; Continent cut off!.)

This regularly comes up around the times of the Solstices each year. However, I sense that this time the Conservatives are happy to let Scotland enjoy its own time zone. This will complicate such things as time checks on national radio and television, and could mean that programs such as Radio 4’s Today show are shortened in Scotland or simply moved from 0600-0900 to 0500-0800. I don’t think it can happen overnight: time zone changes are hideously expensive, not only in terms of little things like time and tide tables but in terms of big things like national broadcasters, transportation timings, and soothing the ruffled feathers of farmers and the Scots. This does not even take into consideration that, for the first year, we will have to figure out the best way of actually joining Western European Standard Time. I suppose that the best way is to go ahead one hour for British Summer time in the spring, and then just not go back to Greenwich Mean Time in the autumn. We will “permanently lose” one hour of sleep that year, I guess. The Europhobes will spend more time complaining about that to the unwashed multitudes than they will actually enjoying the extra hour of activity a later sunset will afford.

In any case, I have spent a pleasant 45 minutes or so of the longest day of the year expounding upon time. Now to start to face the day. Pot of coffee, anyone?

* from @tug: “UTC isn’t the French acronym There was an argument CUT in English vs TUC in French so they compromised on UTC” I stand corrected.

From Twitter 06-20-2010

Monday, June 21st, 2010
  • 11:56:03: Happy noon, all. Waiting for the nurse to pump me full of antibiotics, and the sky is grey. I want a Subway BMT with all the trimmings.. 🙁
  • 19:43:04: @soveren get someone to do CPR while you’re in it. And get a vid of it…
  • 22:11:10: @jonk mmmmm Crystal Light…can’t get it here. Must remember to demand some from the next houseguest coming here from the US…
  • 22:18:31: @ltdanchoi Signed the UK petition, Lieutenant. Thanks for bringing it to our attention here…I’ve seen no UK news about it.
  • 22:20:10: @milesobrien All I know is that, at 57 years old, I’m CERTAIN to be extinct in 100 years.

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Happy birthday, <lj user=”seinneann_ceoil”>&#8230;

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-19-2010

Sunday, June 20th, 2010
  • 08:50:23: Good morning, all. I gather that England didn’t do well in some game or other last night.
  • 09:12:04: @soveren i haven’t watched any of this. we haven’t even turned the TV on the last week.
  • 11:23:44: I’m looking forward to it. Will there be pictures? RT @JoexEd: I’m gonna give all my secrets away
  • 19:51:45: RT @BankenAerger: You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.

Today’s Homosexuality 101 Lesson

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

This is a craigslist posting; I would normally simply link to it but, in the general scheme of things, such postings tend to disappear. So, here it is (the original link, for as long as it lasts, is the title of the piece):

To the Straight Guy at the Party Last Night.

Date: 2010-06-17, 11:32PM EDT

A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv—discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro

The entire translation process

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

Sometimes when debugging a program, it’s instructive to see the internal processes by which input data is transformed into output. The Bad Translator site allows you to copy all the intermediate translations. Here is the limerick I most recently tried:

There was a young rector of Kings
Whose mind was on heavenly things,
But his heart was on fire
For a boy in the choir
Whose ass was like jelly on springs.

Some of the internal translations are interesting. The reference to the “young rector of Kings” turns into “Wang, a young pastor” because “Kings” is translated into the proper name “Wang” when the sentence is translated from English to traditional Chinese. The word “ass” is translated into Chinese and then back into English as “butt”.

After a few translations into Croatian, Danish, and Dutch we get the English: Wang, a young pastor, life in heaven, but my heart is like spring burning butt jelly babies heart..

Once we get to German, we have “jelly babies” translated into “Gummi Bear”, and somehow the game of Lacrosse got into it: Wang, a young priest, life is heaven, but my heart is like a feather, burns in the heart of the Gummi Bear Lacrosse.

After an excursion to Iceland, we have: Wang, a young priest to life in heaven, but my heart is like straw and burned to Feed RSS Bears Lacrosse.

Unfortunately, once we get to Japan the last few words are replaced by what seems to be a phonetic translation of “Bears Lacrosse” and which is not further translateable. And the final one is pretty much gibberish. But, it is all good fun.

The cut doesn’t seem to work, so instead of giving you the entire thing, I’ll just delete it as it would be tiresome to show it all. The last and final translation is: T space. King, the young monk who is the head of a horse, grass and fodder Beazurakurosu live.


Saturday, June 19th, 2010

We all know that online translators have their limitations. They are good for short declarative expressions; they are not so good for more philosophical or unclear expressions.

Bad Translation is a site that allows you to test this. I decided to put two limericks in. Here’s what I got:

There once was a young man from Brent,
Whose cock was remarkably bent.
When he went to the trouble
He put it in double.
So instead of just coming, he went.

56 Translations Later: Young and burns show properly. Registering a company two years ago.

There once was a man from Madras,
Whose bollocks were made out of brass.
When they jangled together
They played stormy weather,
And lightning shot out of his ass.

56 Translations Later: Health of male teachers. Storm Rapidly from the hip

Happy birthday, <lj user=”cubziz”>&#8230;

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-18-2010

Saturday, June 19th, 2010
  • 05:42:21: @JoexEd the Chat? Is this #fb ?
  • 05:45:39: @JoexEd OIC. Thank you. I’m not on it… 🙁
  • 05:45:49: @hungskateboy Night-night. Sleep well.
  • 05:55:35: @JoexEd …and they now keep you going in the face of…well…diminishing returns?
  • 05:58:43: @JoexEd time to try other sources?
  • 06:11:51: @JoexEd You mean a vow of chastity. Celibacy just means not getting married and assumes you’re not doing extramarital sex. #PedantsCorner
  • 06:17:49: @JoexEd i hope you find reason to abandon celibacy ASAP!
  • 06:20:04: @JoexEd it’s always darkest before the dawn #OldSawsStillApply
  • 06:33:42: @JoexEd I got up at 0515 as the sun rises around 0450 @ the moment. We are @ the latitude of Labrador and get very long days @ the solstice
  • 06:43:05: @JoexEd Well, time for bed for you then?
  • 06:44:17: @JoexEd Good; I’m enjoying our conversation.
  • 06:47:42: @JoexEd I wouldn’t dare not to…
  • 06:57:55: I think I’ll go off and make a pot of coffee. Almost time to totally wake up…
  • 07:22:39: A belated “Morning, all”. Got up at 0515 because the sun was already up. Looking forward to going out for lunch and dinner today.
  • 16:58:11: @jonk i hope the appt. will go well.
  • 21:07:20: # FF @mariocruzxxx @OahuAJ
  • 21:11:43: #FF @jonk @se1 @jjjap @BrianHeys @urbanbohemian @jtbritto @KingOfShaves @soveren @Shelbycub @JoexEd
  • 21:12:05: @mariocruzxxx Thanks for the #ff xxx!
  • 23:04:47: @soveren Oh, thank you for the #ff. We still have to meet in a real haunt sometime seeing as we’re in the same country…
  • 23:06:16: Of course I can’t forget #FF for @superdupershark and also thank him for his!
  • 23:07:06: @soveren Cue “Land of Hope and Glory” but I don’t know any of the rest of the words 🙁 Will look them up.
  • 23:20:49: Well, all, couldn’t go out for lunch as the district nurse was late in arriving to give me my antibiotic. Had dinner at the Well, though!
  • 23:21:20: So, then “Say Goodnight, Gracie.” “Good night, Gracie.”

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From Twitter 06-17-2010

Friday, June 18th, 2010
  • 14:21:40: Got a cast on my leg today! This means I can get out and about! Lovely!
  • 15:18:19: RT @stephenfry: Hurrah! It had to happen. Poor Mr Hitler. Watch it before they take it down. #vuvuzela
  • 18:00:31: @jonk – They ALWAYS look worse before they look better. Was the other guy in worse shape?
  • 21:57:57: @therealgokwan I don’t believe that anything in Glasgow can be described as “hot”, not even the summer weather. Maybe a pub fight…
  • 21:59:51: @jonk The gas will subside eventually if you keep up healthy eating. Would you rather fart, or have a stroke or coronary? I’ll take farting.
  • 22:04:18: @jonk believe me I’ve had a coronary and I’d prefer the worse SBD fart to a coronary any day. No stroke (yet) but ditto, I think.
  • 22:04:51: @Traphik – Good enough to eat…remind me of a brownie with choc ice cream on it. I am now hungry.
  • 22:07:20: @jonk I agree with that sentiment. While we’re at it, no further coronaries either! For both of us.
  • 22:22:35: @Airrun sorry to hear about your Uncle Jackson May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
  • 22:28:25: Well, tweeps and peeps. Time for a date with our bed. I mustn’t be late. She is a jealous mattress.

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Today’s joke, courtesy <lj user=”tim1965″>

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Little Johnnie came home one day, and his dad told him that his mother had given birth to a new baby girl! “But,” his dad said, “your new sister has been born without ears. This is very upsetting to your mother, so not a word about it, OK?”

Little Johnnie agreed.

His dad then took Little Johnnie to the hospital. The nurse brought out the baby, and Little Johnnie’s mother showed the newborn to him.

“Wow,” said Little Johnnie. “What a beautiful face! What a beautiful nose! What a beautiful mouth! What a handsome chin! What rosy cheeks! What nice hair!”

“Is that all you’ve got to say,” Little Johnnie’s mother asked.

Little Johnnie thought a bit, and then said, “Well, are her eyes okay? Can she see all right?”

Little Johnnie’s mother said, quite astonished, “Why, yes. She can see just fine. Why do you ask, Little Johnnie?”

“Because if she’s fucked if she has to wear glasses,” he said.

Happy birthday, <lj user=”ajaxstamos”> & <lj user=”stealthpup”>&#8230;

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-16-2010

Thursday, June 17th, 2010
  • 06:55:16: Morning, all. Beta-blockers give you such VIVID dreams…Have decided not to bother blogging it as people get bored by other people’s dreams
  • 07:08:11: @jonk What was on the menu?
  • 07:09:42: @jonk shrimp, lobster, and crab have lots of cholesterol, I believe (so does avocado). Just sayin’… 🙁
  • 07:12:40: @jonk Oh dear, I’m not the Menu Monitor so I should keep my tweet firmly shut. But I am concerned. (I lurrve me some avocado, tho…)
  • 22:21:14: Well, tweeps and peeps, another day, no dollars. Foot clinic tomorrow. Sleep tight, all.

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Another ending&#8230;

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

I have now cancelled my membership in Paris Gym. This is really gutting me as, although I’ve only visited once in the past year because of my feet, it has been a place very close to my heart for 13 or 14 years.

I joined in (I think) 1996 after Pleasuredrome remodelled and turned their gym into a very small room (soon to disappear altogether). I looked in Boyz for another gym to go to, and found a small ad for Paris. They had just started, and when I went I discovered that it was exclusively gay male (it has since expanded to exclusively male but enforces a gay-friendly environment) gym where I would not be made to feel uncomfortable because of my size or lack of ability.

I soon grew to regard Phil and Peter, the owners, as friends (in a professional setting, of course). As the gym grew (I was member 699) we would spend time at the coffee bar talking about this and that. My ex joined while he was in London briefly, then fled. Other friends have joined (hi, !), or attended. I lost weight, gained it back, gained muscle, became one of the regulars.

Meanwhile the gym expanded to two arches underneath Vauxhall railway station. The number of members grew, and the business (I believe) is prospering. However, as the state of my feet has gotten worse (and is now better, but not recovered), the chances of me being able to take advantage of my membership recede further and further into the future. HWMBO has been nagging me for almost a year to cancel my membership, but I have resisted. I cannot resist any longer, so I cancelled the standing order today and one of the owners will be delivering the contents of my locker shortly.

I feel like I’ve broken up with my boyfriend of 14 years’ standing. I do hope that in the future I’ll be in a position to rejoin. But, until then, farewell!

There will Always be an England, Canadian Division, Humour Department

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, ‘Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.’

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. ‘Been on holiday yet, lads?’

‘Off to England next month,’ says John. ‘We go to England every year, hire a car. And drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?’ Jim agrees.

‘Ah, England ‘ says the bartender. ‘Wonderful country … The history, the beer, the culture….’

‘Nah, we don’t like that British crap,’ says John. ‘Hamburgers & Molson’s beer, that’s us eh Jim?’ Jim agrees.

And we can’t stand the English, they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.’

‘So why keep going to England ?’ asks the bartender.

‘It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive..

From Twitter 06-15-2010

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
  • 17:35:31: @Sgboy01 Don’t be rude unless you see his pic and he’s not cute.
  • 17:38:24: The Dean of Southwark preaches about inviting the PB of the Episcopal Church to celebrate and preach:
  • 17:43:18: The 1st Compaq portable was an anvil with a handle. Now we see this on a train Why is he smiling? He must be sore!
  • 17:43:33: Thanks for @soveren for the previous tweet’s subject.
  • 17:49:29: @fj Do you just have TV, or do you also have cable or satellite? Your possible choices depend on where your input signal comes from.
  • 17:58:37: @Naoij – Very very nice. Guys with iPhones material, defo.
  • 17:59:11: @geneticdancer Congratulations!
  • 19:18:19: @soveren not bad… eating a chicken fried steak or something from tesco’s that HWMBO bought. meh.
  • 19:22:14: @soveren so what’s new with you? Got a bit behind on twitter today…to much input from everything…
  • 22:59:59: Well, tweeps and peeps, I’m off to bed for (I hope) a second good night’s sleep in a week. Don’t make too much noise, now!

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Muffins of Teh Now!

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

…except two of them are now inside me.

Lightning strikes&#8230;

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Shamelessly stolen from Towleroad (go there to see a picture of the statue):

An “iconic” massive statue of Jesus in Monroe, Ohio was struck down by God’s wrath lightning last night, the Dayton Daily News reports:

“The statue was constructed of wood and styrofoam over a steel framework that was anchored in concrete and covered with a fiberglass mat and resin exterior, according to the church. It was slated to undergo renovations this summer. Gathered along Union Road were Franklin twins and storm chasers Levi and Seth Walsh, who said they were out in the thunderstorm when they heard about the fire through a Facebook update. ‘It sent goosebumps through my whole body because I am a believer,’ said Levi Walsh, 29. ‘Of all the things that could have been struck, I just think that that would be protected. … It

Today’s Advertisement from the Past…

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

I wonder if someone related to me had a laboratory in NY at one time…

Happy birthday, <lj user=”disjecta”>&#8230;

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-14-2010

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
  • 07:29:22: Morning, all. Waiting for hospital transport. Had a sleepless night because of discomfort in my feet.
  • 16:09:32: Tweeps and peeps: just to clarify: my hospital visit this morning was totally outpatient and the results were good! Off the vac pump for now

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From Twitter 06-13-2010

Monday, June 14th, 2010
  • 08:59:08: Morning, all. Restless night, so I’ll rest during the day. Hope your Sunday is restful, too. It’s the Day of Rest, after all…
  • 11:17:41: @stephenfry You should have stuck to Twining’s. Condolences.

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There will always be an England, Legal Department

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Archaic laws often are funny out of context. However, in this Wiltshire village, it proved to be fun for everyone to be required to turn up for archery practice.

From Twitter 06-12-2010

Sunday, June 13th, 2010
  • 14:04:05: Well, tweeps and peeps, I put together our new lawn mower & mowed the jungle-er-lawn today. I think my foot has survived. Monday will tell.
  • 14:07:34: RT @bbcnews: A charity shop in Fife is overwhelmed by interest after Gordon Brown donates some family possessions.
  • 14:15:53: @Fox_Mullder If you answer the door in the nude (after a nap, say), they excuse themselves and never return. Worked for a friend of mine!
  • 14:20:57: I grit my teeth to keep from shooting you RT DentonPolice: 06/12/2010 | 22 yo | DEADLY CONDUCT DISCHARGE FIREARM
  • 22:17:40: Well, all, time to turn in. I gather that some soccer game is over. Oh well, tomorrow is another day: Sunday.

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From Twitter 06-11-2010

Saturday, June 12th, 2010
  • 07:01:29: Oh what a good boy am I! RT DentonPolice: 06/11/2010 00:22 | 20 yo | THEFT UNDER $50
  • 07:04:39: Classical drinkers RT @infernoxv: Mica mica parva stella, dic mi ubi est taberna? Twinkle twinkle little star, point me to the nearest bar!
  • 07:07:50: @jonk Radio 6 is for the chopping block in the latest round of BBC cuts, I’m afraid.
  • 07:08:28: @jonk That being said, there is a groundswell of support for Radio 6, so it might yet be saved. I’m listening to Radio 4’s Today program now
  • 07:09:06: @iamkio Congratulations! Best of luck to you!
  • 07:51:58: @hygienestudent Very hot!
  • 08:01:58: @angelxxxcruz Use surgical glue–it’s better for those sensitive tissues…
  • 08:48:06: @MrPandaBehr noms. send a piece to me, please!
  • 22:39:27: #FF @mariocruzxxx @devinjay @soveren @jenny8lee @PatrikIanPolk @jbritto @TheRealRyanHiga @jonk @AJHab @seismic007
  • 22:53:40: Harry Potter a burglar? RT DentonPolice: 06/11/2010 16:48 | 19 yo | BURGLARY OF HABITATION
  • 23:32:32: Well, tweeps and peeps, as my vac pump gently burbles beside me, it’s time to hit the hay. See y’all tomorrow.
  • 23:32:59: Oh, but #ff @JoexEd, please!

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From Twitter 06-10-2010

Friday, June 11th, 2010
  • 08:09:47: Morning, all. Still waiting for that 7 am transport to hospital.
  • 19:06:40: Back from the quack today…they are happy with my foot’s progress. Who knows, I might even blog today about it!
  • 22:45:55: Well, tweeps and peeps, time for bed now. Cheerio from London! I’d add “Pip, pip!” but no one says that any more, I think.
  • 22:46:11: @Squibby_ go ahead. you only live once.

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Pictures from my Installation

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

As you will be aware, I was installed as Worshipful Master of Goliath Lodge #5595, UGLE on May 12th, during and through my hospitalisation. I have two pictures which I would like to share with you. The first is of me surrounded by the Officers of my year:

And here is one of my brother, myself, and our friend Rick together. We are all three members of Philanthropic Lodge F&AM, Marblehead, Massachusetts.

It was a wonderful night, marred only by my anxiety that I get back in time to save my bed and the discomfort I was feeling in my right foot. I hope that by October everything is back to mostly normal.

Foot progress, the Jungle, and Tax Returns

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Well, I haven’t really blogged for a while (the Twitter posts notwithstanding), so I suppose a short update is in order. On June 4th I was kicked out of the hospital with loads of antibiotics and other medications in a bag. HWMBO came to help me home; we took a taxicab as hospital transport is only for patients (short-sighted, that). I went home with the

From Twitter 06-09-2010

Thursday, June 10th, 2010
  • 08:55:45: Morning, all. Waiting for the nurse to come & give me a shot in the bot, seeing as the PICC line is clogged. The hospital may fix it Thurs.
  • 21:54:03: Well, tweeps and peeps, been a very tiring day. Foot clinic tomorrow morning (be ready at 7, they say, for a 9am appt) so off to bed!

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From Twitter 06-08-2010

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010
  • 12:22:22: District nurse just left. The PICC line is clogged, perhaps by a clot. If they can’t clear it, the line will have to come out. #PICCFAIL
  • 20:26:59: RT @danvesma RT @mkuplens: RT @5tevenw: When life gives you melons, you know you

From Twitter 06-07-2010

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
  • 07:41:28: Morning, all. Off to the Diabetic Foot Clinic this morning via hospital transport to find out whether I’ve been good & kept off my feet.

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Happy birthday, <lj user=”djmrswhite”>&#8230;

Monday, June 7th, 2010

…and many happy returns of the day!

From Twitter 06-06-2010

Monday, June 7th, 2010
  • 07:55:01: Morning, all. Had a relatively quiet night. Untangling the pump in the dark to use the loo is challenging; I managed.
  • 17:43:37: @kirkpng Congratulations! Many happy returns of the day for you both.
  • 21:10:58: @Ski_kks yes, please.
  • 21:18:10: @MrPandaBehr You getting tix for Reykjavik?
  • 21:19:33: @JoexEd hi there. Is 31 mins ago too late for “now”?
  • 21:23:24: Well, all, to bed now as I have an early clinic appt tomorrow. Sleep well, all.

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Today’s Ticklebox Repair

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a Praise.”

“Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, “I’m Tom.”

The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.

Thanks to Mike Warner for contributing this one.